orgasm in a glass

I have never quite mastered the concept of phone sex. It’s not that I am not comfortable touching myself; in fact I would proudly take the onus of pleasuring myself any day. It’s the whole hypocrisy of it… does it really work? Is it really possible to connect at such an erotic level with someone who is miles away? I have heard that it works in the same way as a fantasy; well I am a guru at the fantasy thing so I should in turn be relatively good at phone sex, right?

 But the thing about fantasy that makes it so fulfilling is that I have absolute control on all actions, words cues etc. I imagine it being ruined if he says the wrong thing or moans too loud or too soft, in my fantasy he moans just right. And maybe it’s just me but I hate it when people talk during sex, someone should tell them that that “funny screechy am panting and thrusting but trying to say I love you” voice is just distractingly hilarious. So what happens when all you have is his voice to guide you? “Touch this, flick that, squeeze this, suck… ooh yeah I like it baby”. All I can think about is the fact that he is sitting on his bed pulling on his dick… hahahahaha. 

Which is exactly what was going through my mind yester night when the boyfriend ambushed me with THE CALL

I was in the house contemplating a long busy sober night coz I had back to back meetings all day and hence a pile of work and deadlines. I grabbed a juice carton from the fridge, gulped down a sip, felt the urge to chew on the carton edge (poor uncouth habit I have) and hence decided a glass was in order. My phone rang and given the day I had I knew it might be the boss so I ran upstairs, carton and glass still in hand only to find that it was the boyfriend calling. Not in any hurry to answer I served myself a glass of juice then cozied up on the bed with my laptop, my juice and the phone.

I am not a fan of narration so al jus let u see how the conversation went

Me: hey hun

The Boyfriend: hey, are you busy tonight? Am just from the junction and I could come sleep over

Me: av got a shit load of work, you can come but ul have to keep ur hands off me if u do

T.B: in that case I can do that from my place, don’t want to be in ur way. 

...Then there was a lot of uninteresting chit chat that led to the cliché opening line for phone sex…

T.B: what are you wearing?

Me: a t-shirt, your t-shirt. (Lie no 1)

T.B: underwear?

Me: no. (Lie no 2)

T.B: touch yourself

Me: where?

T.B: ur nipple

Me: giggle… am doing that (lie…)

This went on for a while, and the whole time I was busy multitasking between the coding on the laptop and moaning on the phone, (I wonder how he didn’t hear me pounding on the keys while I typed)

The climax…

Our phone sex had escalated to a point where I was supposedly on top of him and he was grabbing on my ass and thrusting (am getting a bit turned on by this right now), anyway…I was making all the right noises pretending to be fingering myself as he spoke.

I picked my glass, took a sip (more like a gulp) and accidentally spilled a bit from the corner of my mouth which ran straight down to my keyboard. Forgetting that I was in the middle of phone-sushi  I instinctively shouted “SHIT”

T.B: OMG… did you cum? I knew I would make you come. I am so turned on right now, I am coming over.

I didn’t have the heart to disappoint him or to admit that I had been pretending the entire time so I gave in, placed my laptop upside down on a towel to dry, finished up my glass of juice, refilled it with a shot of tequila and had my second orgasm in a glass that night…